Talking about your sexual preferences, desires and fantasies in a judgement free zone is the first step into the sex life you’ve always dreamed of.

First of all, getting to know your partner and their most intimate thoughts brings you to a level of connection like no other; however, we understand sometimes these are conversations we are not used to having, so here are a few tips on how to begin to have these conversations with minimal conflict.

1.Don’t surprise your partner with a sex talk

Pick a neutral spot to have this conversation. Don’t have this conversation in the bedroom or after sex. Set the scenery so you can ease into it and you both are comfortable when it comes time to bring the topic up. Take advantage of turning this conversation into a date. Go out for dinner, coffee or drinks and let your partner know ahead of time that you have some things you’d like to discuss about increasing your sexual frequency.

2.Take it one topic at a time

Although you might be eager to let it all out at once, sex discussions should be short, targeted and limited, especially when you are just beginning to open up about it. These are complex feelings that need to be processed and sorted out.
For instance, your partner might like for the other to initiate sex because they worry that the other might not find them attractive.
Initiation and attraction are two different subjects that should be separated into two different conversations.

3.Make suggestions rather than complaints

These can be sensitive subjects to a lot of people, so it is important that you carry them out with the utmost tact, consideration and respect. It is always better to start off by naming the positive things and the things you do like and enjoy about each other and guide the conversation into how you would like to complement that part with other things that you also like.

For instance, you love how much you are able to joke about everything and have silly conversations, but then also suggest how you would like more passionate and intense moments as well; and open the room for discussion asking important questions like: “what do you like and what do you wish was different?”

4.Back to basics!

Get to know the basics again and understand each other’s expectations:

What do you like?
When do you feel the most sexual?
What turns you on?

Once you have begun to work through the basics of these conversations and find yourselves reconnecting with one another, that is when the real fun begins. Keep the channels open and let your energy flow so you can start getting creative. ?